Divorce Coaching


Getting Through the Forest of Divorce

A client recently described her divorce as “trying to get through the forest at night.” We think this is a particularly apt description of the process. Most people feel that a divorce is disorienting. It affects a person’s thinking, reasoning and decision-making. And it often takes so long that you don’t know if you will ever get out!

A divorce is like a forest in other ways. There are predatory animals (You know who they are!) lurking in hidden places, ready to pounce. Often, people have no idea of what happens during the divorcing process and attorneys don’t like to talk about it. The feeling is that you are left in the dark during an important time in your life. The stress of divorce is palpable; the terrain is uncomfortable, not easy to navigate with trees and underbrush in your way and no clear path in sight.

A Better Way of Divorcing

If a divorce is inevitable, it doesn’t mean that the typical process of divorce is inevitable, as well — the dueling lawyers, the time-consuming discovery process, the attorney conferences and pretrials, the extended wait for a judge or magistrate’s decision, the emotional toll on children who are pushed and pulled to take sides in a battle that nobody wins..

In recent years, people have found alternatives to courtroom litigation. These alternatives are often less time-consuming, less stress-provoking, and they are usually much less expensive. Alternatives such as principled negotiation, mediation, arbitration and collaborative divorce are available, and we can advise you as to these alternatives.

A Divorce Coach Can Help You Out of the Woods

I am specially trained and experienced in the art of coaching people through a divorce, assisting with the multitude of decisions that have to be made right at the time that you may feel most incapable of making a decision. The divorce coach provides education about the process but, more importantly, offers the emotional support necessary to deal effectively with your divorce. The work of the divorce coach is not a substitute for legal advice or psychotherapy. However, it serves as a complement to these services. Often, your attorney or your therapist will refer you to a divorce coach to help you with the particular emotional issues associated with divorce.